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                               V   O   L   U   M   E   *   1   0   2
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                                      Released 8th Dec 1993




      =================================================================

The opinions expressed by some of the  writers are not necessarily those of all
the PURE BOLLOCKS  editorial  team.  The  individual  writers  retain their own
copyrights. This magazine may be  freely  spread  for non-profit purposes only.
We're not to be held responsible for  how people use or mis-use the information
in this magazine.


* NOTE *    IF YOU CAN'T STAND  THE  ODD  SWEARWORD,  THEN  YOU'RE  IN A BIT OF
            TROUBLE HERE, I GUESS!



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Well, we've survived long enough  to  put  out  a  second  issue! Thanks to the
people who responded to our first issue.  So  to answer the burning question of
last week- no, I bear absolutely no relation to Genie from The Pompey Pirates!

A couple of people have  been  asking  me  how  to  get  copies of the original
diskmag. Er, well, what can I say? Apart from- look at the section marked "END"
(So called, because it's at the  end!)  that  should  tell  you all you need to
know!

   <Genie!>

PS  Could the guy who signed his  email  message something like "froggy" please
    contact me again as I lost your original message accidentely!


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== \___/ \___/ I  \I   I   I____ I  \I   I   I____ I  \I   I   \___/ =======


01  -   SCOTTISH ST SCENE- Genie takes a look  at  who's alive and who's not in
        the twilight zone of the Atari World!
02  -   GLAD TO BE LAME? - Bip of  Hopeless Lamers takes an alternative look at
        the use of the word "lame".
03  -   "COMPLETE TRASH FROM NETWORK TRASH" - Background information
04  -   "COMPLETE TRASH FROM NETWORK TRASH" - The *official* introduction!

END -   Contact details, where to get the diskmag and so on.

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              ------------------------------------------------
               PURE BOLLOCKS REVIEW OF THE SCOTTISH ST SCENE!
              ------------------------------------------------

                       by <GENIE> of NETWORK TRASH!

Yes, we mean Scottish- repeat after  me-  SCOTTISH, SCOTTISH, SCOTTISH! None of
this 'English' scene with Scottish  groups  that  Amazine keeps going on about!
Sorry Mad Vision, but there's more than  one country in Britain! In this review
we're going to go on about  something  we  know  about  here. If you don't know
about CDs/Menus, now this is a unique ST phenomenon! Whilst Amiga games take up
around 10 disks and you need a new hard-drive to run a new PC game, ST crackers
have always had a tradition of  *packing*  stuff  onto *single disks*! It's not
the same as archiving either, because code  is inserted into the system vectors
to depack anything newly loaded that  has  been  packed. In short- it's packed,
but you can still run it! As  a  consequence, crews do selection "menus", which
have become increasingly more complex!

Anyway, back to the review....  If  you  are  a  Scottish  group and we haven't
included you here, then we're sorry- contact us! Quite a lot of the groups here
have members elsewhere in Britain. Afterwards,  we'll  talk a bit about various
outlets which deal in their wares, but first, the groups list....

BTW "modules" = 4 channel digi sound files
    "demos"   = displays of graphics and sound



    ** CYNIX **

Still one of the best and most  active  cracking crews in Scotland, but they're
calming down, and might be dead  within  a  year,  who knows! There's 1 cracker
left- the Milky Bar Kid or Absu or whatever he's called now.


    ** LEMMINGS **

This is a group with members in Scotland (Potsan) and England (Pele). Pele does
most of the cracking, but Potsan also  does the occasional crack and codes some
stuff like his 'Boot Crazy' utility. Potsan has also released a couple of menus
with other people. All the  cracks  are  minor  league stuff- don't expect Epic
cracked by this group.


    ** THE PIXEL TWINS **

This was the main demo crew in Scotland with about 6-7 members. Their stuff was
nearly always STE only, and they  have  converted the Scoopex 'Mental Hangover'
demo from the  Amiga  onto  the  STE!  One  of  the  coders,  DML,  works  as a
professional programmer. Now they are dead as  a  demo crew, and are working on
the Falcon as Black Scorpion Software, with one of their first products, Chroma
24, a commercial art/animation package, out fairly soon.


    ** FINGERBOBS **

This is now the main  demo  crew  in  Scotland,  and  mainly come from Aberdeen
University. They've done guest screens  for  Inner  Circle's 'Decade Demo', and
did a couple of screens for the  Ripped  Off  party demo, two of them STE only.
Surprise surprise, the coder (Oberjee) is also a professional programmer!


    ** TOP NOTCH **

This is a new crew composed  of  STOS  coders  ACO  and Wheee the Fibble. Under
their old names they released  the  'Cunning  Demos'  and  under Top Notch they
released their STOS extension 'Misty' on ST Format, and their 'Misty Demo'. WTF
(Billy Alan) is now the ST Format STOS correspondant.


    ** DIMENSION ZERO **

This is a mainly STOS coding crew  who  are  also active on the Amiga! The main
coder is Michael Lynne. They have  done  a  guest screen for Top Notch's 'Misty
Demo' and are working on their demo called  'Evie the Dog' (I think that's what
it's called!)


    ** BLUE HARVEST **

Originally just the name which  Red  Five  released  his modules under, they've
recently become a slightly less lame demo crew. We know this because one of the
coders, Agrajag, turned up at the Ripped  Off party in September and spent most
of the time trying to get a  chessboard  effect  working on a demo screen! He's
also written a couple of articles  for  Ledgers.  There's also another coder in
BH, but we don't know his name. Red  Five's  module got 3rd place at the Ripped
Off party module competition.  We've  heard  that  they're  also overdue with a
digi-music demo! However, we have heard recently that Agrajag has left, so it's
probably back to being the name Red Five releases his modules under!


    ** DIGITECH **

This is a demo crew with 4 members as  far as we know. They are Shift and Data-
both coders, and another member we don't know much about. We are told that they
have done a  guest  screen  for  Dimension  Zero's  STOS  demo-  but they're an
assembler group, so I assume  their  guest  screen's also in assembler! Agrajag
has recently joined this group, and  we  hear  of another coder joining, making
Digitech a 4 coder group! Shift has  recently  bought an Amiga, and is becoming
involved with an Amiga group as well.


    ** TOUR DE FORCE **

We didn't know too much about this  group  except that they have a coder called
Darkman and they are supposed to be writing a guest screen for the Untouchables
'Cheese and Biscuits' demo. We then  got  a  letter from Darkman, who said that
Tour De Force were dead, and he and another member were now in....


    ** DIGET **

This lot do PD/Shareware games in STOS  basic/assembler. We've seen a couple of
their productions already, and they're pretty good really!


    ** NETWORK TRASH **

Not an ST crew, but a secret  network  crew based mainly in Glasgow University.
See the "story" elsewhere in the  magazine.  I  thought I might as well mention
them! (Anyway, lots of them have STs as well....)


    ** HOPELESS LAMERS **

I've seen 3 menus from this  lot,  and  I  still don't know if they're serious!
They crack ancient games, pack them  and  stick  them  on  a disk with a ripped
intro, and make them look as  though  the  entire  disk is ripped off, but they
also include a DOC file in a  folder  telling  how the games were cracked! Very
strange crew, mainly led by Bip.


    ** SUB HUMANS IN TURKEY **

Yes, this lot are still going. Three of  them turned up at the Ripped Off party
so we know! They used to  be  know  mainly  because of their frontman EGB doing
menus for Automation, and the infamous  'Pissflaps' porno game. They all appear
to be in the business of making games now... Maybe expect 'Pissflaps 2'?!?!


    ** THE FORCE **

This lot do compil[ation] menus of all  the "shit hot" (Their words) cracks, we
don't know if they're still going, but  we  did meet Skelly and Leasky from the
group some time ago!


    ** G - FORCE **

I've still got a couple of menus from these people. They were compil menus made
up by guys at the Barras  in  Glasgow  for  their  stall. I think they're quite
definately dead now, and are no relation to The Force.


    ** ST FACTORY **

Talking of stalls compil makers, the infamous  ST Factory (As seen in the Daily
Record) stall in the Barras did a  couple  of  CDs under their name, with games
packed and  single-filed  and  a  menu  added  using  utilities  off  their own
catalogue!


    ** THE NEW GENERATION **

Another games compil maker! I've got 2  menus  by this bunch, and they both use
the crappy old Medway Boys menus!  But  they're relatively up-to-date on games.
One thing that is really annoying is  their  fixation with Star Trek TNG, up to
the point of calling themselves names  like  "Worf"  and "Picard"! I think they
might be dead as well....


    ** DARK ANGELS **

A real bunch of sad egomaniac compil  makers and no mistake. Their first 'menu'
wasn't a menu at  all  but  an  intro  made  by  the  'Intro Concept' creator!!
[Pathetic  "demo"  creator  thingy.]  They  must  have  got  Easyrider,  [Great
disassembler] because they are now using  the  same ancient Medway Boys menu as
The New Generation! They're  always  pinching  'Top  Tips'  jokes  from Viz and
putting them in their scrolltexts! Here's a top tip for you lot- please stop!


    ** RIPP OFF MERCHANTS **

What makes me think this is a  piss-take?  Perhaps the fact that the person who
does these compils is called 'Dildo'??!?! I've  got  3 'CD's from this lot, but
they're numbered 567, 581,  and  584  !!!  They're  apparently PD and shareware
stuff only as far as I can tell, but it's quite well packed anyway.


    ** BIRDY **

Oh this is really ancient! Birdy was  a  lone cracker and was fairly well known
and disliked by loads of other crackers. He does nothing now.


    ** QUARTEX **

And thought it was  an  all  English  crew!  No,  there's  a Scottish member in
Ruthless' ill-fated group.


    ** KICK IT IN SOFTWARE **

If you think Ruthless [Don't ask!] is  bad,  you  should  see this - Kick It In
Software ('Kick It In' is supposed to  be  a reference to Simple Minds [the pop
group] incidentally....) just take CDs and rip  the menus off! The best example
of this is their 'CD 6'- they  have  just ripped the scroller! The graphics are
still the same, and  say:  'LSD  /  WAS  NOT  WAS  MENU 10'!!!!! The scrolltext
actually gives away what college this lamer  goes,  and  the name of one of his
lecturers and one of his tutors! We  had  our suspicions about who this guy was
and we checked with someone studied the same subjects at the college, and we've
confirmed his identity, but we won't reveal  his name. Let's just say that Kick
It In Software CD 6 was very much ripping without imagination!


    ** IMAGINATION **

But this lot win the sadcase award! They just sector edited some cracks to slag
off the Dark Angels, and edited their DOC files, then added a desktop file with
loads of disk icons saying that they  are 'Glasgow's no. 1 demo crew!' Actually
we now know the identity of  the  man  behind  this lame escapade, and we think
you'd be better sticking to running your  stall! (If you haven't been bust yet!
[Actually, he wasn't, I just found that out!])


    ** FAT TULIP **

This appears to be just one person who occasionally releases disks of utilities
and not much else, though he did claim to be trying to join Cynix at one point!
(And don't you deny it! We have the text file to prove it!)


    ** PRIESTS OF PLEASURE **

A new Edinburgh based demo crew,  and  the  coder  is called -Dodo- !!! They've
done an intro for Ledgers disk mag (issue 13), and Dodo appears to code using -
get this - TURBO ASSEMBLER!! [Really old/crappy assembler for ST!]


    ** EGB'S SMELLY SOX **

This person along with Rich Tea did the -really amazing- 'Perpetual Dawn' Demo.
Not only is he a brilliant coder  and  really  nice person, he is also standing
immediately behind me while I type this! Aaaarrrgh! Get off! Aaaaaarrrgggh!


    [Get  the  "Perpetual  Dawn  demo"   for   the   ST  by  anonymous  FTP  at
    archive.umich.edu in directory "atari/Demos" (PDAWN.ARC)]


    ** PIRATE STUFF **

There are three main  outlets  for  pirate  stuff.  (This  is for informational
purposes only of course!)

1)  Mail swappers- groups and group  contacts  swap  all  their latest stuff as
    soon as they get it. Usually the first to get the latest disks. If you have
    any mail swapper contacts- lucky you!
2)  Pirate bbs - We're certainly not going  to  give any numbers away here, but
    this is also  a  fairly  up-to-date  way  of  getting  stuff,  if  a little
    expensive phone-bill-wise. In fact, we know  a certain well known group get
    all their stuff now from some boards!
3)  Markets- any big market  can  be  expected  to  have  a  pirate stall in it
    somewhere, though I wouldn't recommend  going  one  in  the weeks before or
    after Christmas, as that's the most  likely  times when FAST comes round...
    In Scotland, the Glasgow Barras is  the  "place to be", since there's space
    for loads of pirate stalls all about the place. We don't know any market in
    Britain never mind Scotland where this  is  the case, even after that major
    bust that happened recently, but if you know better, then tell us about it!


    ** PD/SHAREWARE STUFF **

You can get PD through  mail  swappers  or  bulettin  boards  as well, and also
through various PD Libraries, so  we'll  give  a  mention  to some PD places in
Scotland:

FLOPPYSHOP  -   in Aberdeen. Really big, it's even got it's own bbs! (STatic)
CALEDONIAN  -   in  Inverness.  It's  a  bit  expensive,  but  it's  got  great
                contacts, in fact it was one of the first in Britain to get the
                Phaelon Gigademo!
STATE 808   -   in Carluke. Mainly intrested in music/sample demos.
PHOENIX PDL -   This is an unsual one. It's not a normal PDL but a PD stall run
                in the Glasgow Barras  on  weekends.  Given  that, it's got the
                best PD list we've seen- almost as big the the old TLB library!
                It's also good for a  chat  and  the  odd  coder or MIDI expert
                hangs around to see what's  new.  One  of our contacts tells us
                that the coders  from  Digitech,  Wheee  The  Fibble,  and even
                occasionally DML from  Black  Scorpion  Software  appear at the
                stall!
MICRO ZONE  -   Another PD stall at the Argyle Market. We've only just heard of
                it, but it does PD for ST, Amiga and PC formats!


So we hope you like this look at  the  Scottish Scene. If you thought there was
hardly anything happening north of Carlisle, we hope we've enlighted you a bit!

<Genie!>
5/12/92.

updated 5/12/93




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== I   I  ___/ =============================================================
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NOTE  FROM GENIE- Quite a lot of this comes from a conversation between  myself
and  Bip  which started after he slagged off the Radical Bandits  for  being  a
"bunch of lame fucks who can't crack for toffee".  We started arguing about the
actual meaning of the  word "lame" and if it's  getting overused or not.  Don't
worry, he'll explain who the "Radical Bandits are in the article.



                              ==================
                               GLAD TO BE LAME?
                              ==================

            A "sociological" examination by Bip of Hopeless Lamers.


It  would make you wonder if you were ever proud to be a hacker.    People  who
haven't  seen each other,  never mind talk to each  other,  and only know  each
other  by  crap pseudonyms,  violently   slag each other off over  some  little
piffling  detail  like  the  exact  differences of  each  other  others  hacked
programs. As soon as that  starts, you can bet anything you like that they will
start to call  each other "lamer".
     It's  not  just in the shadowy  twilight world of the  pirates,  but   the
shadowy twilight world of demo-coders. They spend day and  night coding just to
get a crappy little scroller going, and what's  the first thing they do? That's
right!  Write about 32K worth of  greetings and then slag someone off and  call
him or her (If that  ever happens. Computer buffs are usually male.) a "lamer",
or   even  worse give him or her a  "mega/giga fuck" (Though   presumably  this
does not extend beyond the scrolltext stage.  At  least there are no examples I
have  heard of.)
     It  seems that the whole non-commercial programming scene is  filled  with
usage  of the word "lamer",  even more than certain  extremely  naughty  swear-
words like 'fuck' and 'cunt'! (Perhaps we should be  thankful.)
     The use of this death-word started with the hackers on 16-bit   computers,
as  the  developement of high tech computing facilities  available  to  hackers
allowed them to  display  their  hacking   abilities  in  a  suitably high tech
fashion,  in  particular,  the  "compact   menu"  which  compacted  one or more
games onto a single disk,   and  a  selection  menu  was  added, with that most
imfamous of programming inventions- the scroller!
     Now  it was used as a message board to allow any pirate group  to say  how
brilliant  they  thought they were,  and give greetings to  their  friends  and
"mega  and  giga fuck" to their "lamer"  enemies.It's not  a  coincidence  that
anyone with anything less than  a 16-bit computer were automatically  "lamers"!
(Presumably  most of the population count in this category.)  Also,  there is a
rivarly  between the users of all the 16-bit  computers,  in   particular,  the
Commodore Amiga vs the Atari ST,  so we can safely  expect "lamer" to be thrown
about a bit there as well.
     The word itself basically means "inexperienced" or "wet behind  the ears".
That  is  not the end of the story however.  There  are   further  connotations
contained within the application of "lamer".   There are inferences to  fashion
and  upbringing.  To  put it more  simply,  The Computer Lamer is  basically  a
computer  equivalent of  the American-derived word "nerd" whilst the  non-lamer
knows  where he/she is going, what he/she is doing, etc., etc., ....
     BANG!  "You lamer!" CRUMP! "Aaaaarrrgggllll!" Well, at least, that  is the
image  that is supposed to be cultivated.  The word "lamer" is  supposed to  be
the worst insult imaginable to any "serious"  computer buff.
     Or is it?  It seems that "lamer" is getting used as a repetitive jibe   to
the  extreme  by  certain groups who themselves would be  called   "lamers"  by
others!
     One   example would a group I've heard of called The 3   Dimensions  (Neat
name,  huh?).  The  only  reason I know of them is  because I  got  an  updated
version of their menu-ripper.  (That's 2  lamer points to start with-  non-lame
groups  do their own menus,   and don't rip off others code.)  They  apparently
collect  other   peoples cracked games into their own menus.  (3  more  points-
they're  supposed  to  crack it themselves!) The  original  version  of   their
program  was bugged (2 points-you can at least test your  own  programs!!)  and
the STOS source code had to be virtually re- written for it to work. (3 points-
STOS???!?!  You're supposed to do  it in 68000 assembler!!) So, the 3 Dimes get
a  full 10 out of 10 for  lameness.  But what do they say in their  scrolltext?
The 3  Dimes  give a big welcome 'too [sic] all you lamers'!!!
     Another group- favourite targets at HLHQ- try another  approach  entirely.
The 'Radical Bandits' (Or the 'Radical Lamers',   as I like to call them.) hail
themselves  in  the scrolltexts of their  'menus' as 'the number one  group  in
serious  software'!  What  is this 'serious' software?  Yes,  you  guessed  it,
business type  software and utilities.  In short, stuff you don't need to crack
to   put on a menu!!  In fact the menus usually exist as an ego-trip for   this
sad bunch,  as most of their programs are  GEM based.  In fact,   I'm not  sure
that  their menus are not ripped off someone elses  code!!  I  notice,  though,
that  they  haven't had that much midi  software on their  menus.  Is  this,  I
wonder,  because the price of  the software has meant that software house  have
started putting  protection on their disks? Don't worry though, Radical Lamers!
If  you have a problem making Cubase 3 work without a dongle,  just  ask me  to
crack it, won't you?
     We  all know one or two hilarious examples of  'lameness'.   However,  you
might  well  ask,  how far can we take this?  If  someone uses  someones  elses
packer,  does  that make them a  lamer?  We could quite easily point  out  that
hackers,  demo writers,   etc.,  don't quite do everything by themselves.  They
invariably use  someone elses code. Thus, it could be argued, we are all lamers
to  some extent.
     And quite rightly so,  I say!  For too long, other users have been  abused
and sneered at by people with huge bloated egos.  Why  should the word  'lamer'
be such an insult?  It surely proves that  we are all mortals in the  end.  (It
might sound corny, but that's  life.) Those that are first to shout 'lamer' are
about  as lame as  everyone else,  even if only because of their hypocracy  (in
using   someone  elses code.) and arrogance (in assuming that  they  are   more
important  than others.) .  Indeed you could throw the use of  the word  itself
into doubt. After all, isn't the word 'lame'  intolerant to disabled people?
     It's  about  time  that people started taking the piss out  of  what   has
become an 'establishment' frame of mind.  If there's no-one  who doesn't  stand
up to the yardstick by which one might be a  'lamer',  then there really should
be no shame attached to this  label.  Indeed, it's becoming so much of a parody
of itself, that it's  absolutely worth taking the piss!!
     In  this  light,  there is nothing wrong with calling our own  group   the
'Hopeless Lamers', even if we're considered less 'lame' than  other people. Just
look at the name- a complete piss-take if ever  there was one. It's also pretty
easy   to live up to the label 'we're  Hopeless Lamers',  much easier than  the
usual crappy 'we're the  best crew!' and 'fuck all lamers' nonsense you see  in
scrolltext  after scrolltext after scrolltext.  Not that we don't see the  huge
egos   of  demo-coders and crackers as another aspect of  the  computer   world
worth  pillioring.  (In fact we do it an awful lot in our  scrolltexts.)  Well,
why not? If more of these people had a bit of  humility, it would at least make
for more interesting scrolltexts.
     Another  important point to remember is that in the long term,   it  won't
matter  who is the best,  and who the lamers are.   Experience has  shown  that
computers  move  on.  The  coders who  laugh at the  8-bit  machine   users  of
yesteryear,  will  themselves   be laughed on by the demo-coders  on  the  home
computers  of  tomorrow.  The An Cools and Manikins of the demo  coders  world,
and  the Aliens and Mighty Clogs of the hacking fraternity will  have to  learn
new  operating systems if they wish to continue on  their merry  way,  or  else
they will become the new 'lamers'.
     Meanwhile in the twilight zone of computing,  another pirate  group  slams
'lamers' on their menu,  which was coded by someone  else,  but of course  they
won't tell you that.



== /---\ /---\ =============================================================
== I   I  ---< =============================================================
== \___/ \___/ =============================================================

  And now..... (drum roll!) the moment so many of you have been waiting for!

                             * THE VERY BITS ... *

                             ???  No? How about...

                    *  THE VERY -COMPLETE- VERSION OF... *


               ***** ***** *     * ***** *     ***** ***** *****
               *     *   * **   ** *   * *     *       *   *
               *     *   * * * * * ***** *     ****    *   ****
               *     *   * *  *  * *     *     *       *   *
               ***** ***** *     * *     ***** *****   *   *****

                         ***** ***** ***** ***** *   *
                           *   *   * *   * *     *   *
                           *   ****  ***** ***** *****
                           *   *   * *   *     * *   *
                           *   *   * *   * ***** *   *

                          F   -   R   -   O    -    M

                  *   * ***** ***** *     * ***** ***** *   *
                  **  * *       *   *  *  * *   * *   * * **
                  * * * ****    *   * * * * *   * ****  **
                  *  ** *       *   **   ** *   * *   * * **
                  *   * *****   *   *     * ***** *   * *   *

                         ***** ***** ***** ***** *   *
                           *   *   * *   * *     *   *
                           *   ****  ***** ***** *****
                           *   *   * *   *     * *   *
                           *   *   * *   * ***** *   *

                            (T H E * S E R I A L)

                  ORIGINAL DOCUMENT BY THE FOLLOWING MEMBERS
                              OF -NETWORK TRASH-

             Genie, Torg, Warlock, Revlis, and Zog the Destroyer.

                       PART 1 OF A SQUILLION PART FILE.

           ********************************************************
           *    WARNING! THIS TEXT FILE CONTAINS LANGUAGE THAT    *
           *              SOME MAY FIND OFFENSIVE!!!!             *
           *          (WELL, WHAT A FUCKING SHAME, EH?)           *
           ********************************************************


==============================================================================

                 * INTRODUCTION * TO THE..... * INTRODUCTION *

Hello,  this is Genie, one of  the  writers  of  this amazing work. I've edited
this down a bit for space reasons,  but basically what happened is that somehow
Agrajag of Blue Harvest/Digitech got  a  copy  of  the  original version of the
"Complete Trash from Network Trash" story, started  going on about how great it
was on Fidonet F&SF echo, and then did an edited version with his own comments,
and uploaded it to his  bbs.  The  bbs  sysop  apparently  thought it was crap,
because he didn't put on the board. (Fuck you, Donald!) So over to you EGBSS...

==============================================================================

            * INTRODUCTION * TO THE..... * INTRODUCTION * (PART 2)

Hello, this is EGB's  Smelly  Sox,  and  I  had  seen  the  original version of
'Complete Trash...',  and I was thinking  of  converting  it  to the ST! Then I
heard that this Agrajag person had been  going  about  it on Fidonet. THEN I go
down to the Ripped Off Party, and  guess  who turns up.... Right! It's Agrajag!
So I corner him and he admits converting it to the ST and he says he gave it to
Mat of the Untouchables for the next issue of Ledgers! [ST Disk magazine] So, I
manage to get a copy of the two files  off him- well, not off him directly, but
sneakily  copying  this disk at the dead of night while he's asleep! Thanks for
the files, Agrajag! If the next issue of  Ledgers ever comes out, you might see
the full thing! I wouldn't bother though-  it's  a load of shit anyway. Anyway,
here's an edited form of what he wrote.

[   Oh BTW, since we wrote this in  January,  Agrajag has contacted us and said
    that he was actually going  to  send  us  a  copy!! Ledgers diskmag stopped
    around September  1992,  so  it  was  never  actually  published  there. SO
    basically, we've now got permission to use what he said here! -<Genie!>   ]

  === Begin Quote ==========================================================


* COMPLETE TRASH FROM NETWORK TRASH: BACKGROUND INFO.

This was the first line of CTFNT:

'Length so far: 10 Chapters / 49 pages / 19181 words 112715 chrs.'

Apart from a half finished Chapter 11, that's how far the story has gone!

Any member of NT who wishes to  write   a  chapter of CTFNT is presumably given
free rein to write whatever he/she  wants. However, if you actually look at the
people who have written the chapters, then  it appears that after the first few
chapters, it's clear that 3 members are  in  charge of writing here. Let's look
at who wrote what:
        Chapter 1  : Genie
        Chapter 2  : Warlock
        Chapter 3  : Zog the Destroyer.
        Chapter 4  : Revlis
        Chapter 5  : Torg
        Chapter 6  : Genie
        Chapter 7  : Warlock
        Chapter 8  : Torg
        Chapter 9  : Genie
        Chapter 10 : Warlock
The half-finished chapter 11, as if you haven't guessed, is by Torg!

                                  * SETTING *

The  area  of Glasgow University around Queen Margaret  Gardens  and  Lillybank
Gardens. At the join between the two roads there is a small but wide pedestrian
walkway, straddled at either side by Glasgow University Queen Margaret Students
Union  (The 'QM' to all hip-dudes) and the Boyd Orr Building,  mainly  used  by
science  students.  The  room  numbers are mainly  of  the  format:

     BO  <Floor number><room number>
          eg  BO511 is the eleventh room on the fifth floor.  The 5th floor  is
          for the Computing Science labs.

     Beyond  the  Boyd Orr is University Avenue,  which goes all the  way  from
Byres Road to the other student union,  the Glasgow University Union (GUU).  On
the way,  it goes up and down Gilemorehill, meeting the John Macintyre building
(John  Mac)  and Reading Room on either side.  Behind the John Mac is  the  old
university buildings including the famous Scott tower.  Behind the Reading Room
is the Hub,  which contains the SRC shop and alledged 'snacks'. Next to the Hub
is  the  main library building,  which is behind the Adam  Smith  building  for
politics  and social science students.  And a path from behind that leads  back
down Gilmorehill to the QM. Phew.

[Apart  from the fact that the Adam Smith is BEHIND the library not  the  other
way around, it's pretty accurate..... <Genie!>]

=== End Quote ==============================================================

** NOW A LITTLE TUTORIAL ON THE MAC BY GENIE! **

Well, as I'm speaking, I'm looking at a Mac LCII. There's a nice multi-coloured
line  pattern dancing over a black screen at the moment,  but that's the  Moire
screensaver,  and that'll go away as soon as I jostle the mouse,  so let's  see
what's on at the moment...  Aha. A system error. Well, that's nice incompatible
system  7  on the Macintosh for you.  If you haven't used a  Mac  before,  I'll
explain- each Mac demands a system to load:  on this one,  there's a hard drive
so it loads from that,  but Mac Pluses for example,  need a 720K system disk in
all the time! It's a bit like tha Amiga in some ways.
     Anyway,  let's  restart this computer,  and see what happens.  (Beep!)  Up
comes  the usual 'smiling face' when the system starts loading,  then a  dialog
says  'Welcome  to  Macintosh'-  of couse you can change  your  system  to  say
something  different  if  you  want.  Usually,  it  just  loads  all  the  desk
accessories  then  goes  straight to the desktop,  but this is  a  Mac  in  the
Computing Science!
     Macs in the Computing Department with a hard drive use a special piece  of
software  called 'RevRDist' which tidies the hard drive according to a  'clean'
master  copy on a server somewhere in Computing Science.  Of  course,  you  can
disable it if you want to... Anyway, I want to do something different...
     Go  to  the the 'Apple' menu,  and select 'Chooser'.  This is a  piece  of
system  software which is used with Appletalk networks.  Say you want to  print
out  from  a laser printer that could be anywhere  in  the  network,  (assuming
you've  got  enough  left  in your quota of course!) you  'log  on'  to  it  by
selecting  it  in the Chooser.  In the same way,  you can log  onto  Appleshare
servers.  These  are real networks!  Now,  I'll log onto one- I'll  select  the
'Omneity' Appleshare zone,  and the 'Maclib' server.  Double click on it and...
Up comes a dialog box asking for a username and a password,  so I'll type  that
in...  And here's the server volumes. So I load stuff off their network like it
was  an  extremely  slow  write protected hard drive!  But  of  course  I  know
somewhere in Computing Science where I -can- write to...  Yes, it's the Network
Trash folder!

<Genie!>


== /---\ /  I  =============================================================
== I   I ---I- =============================================================
== \___/    I  =============================================================

****************************************************************************
* This file originally appeared in PURE BOLLOCKS #21, by permission of the *
* authors. This may be spread, but not published for profit.               *
****************************************************************************

NOTE -  Apart from the members of Network Trash, all the other names (including
        "real" names) are  so-called  "made-uppies"  ie  fictional stuff. Also,
        though some of  the  events  may  be  inspired  by real-life incidents,
        they're still fictional made-uppy events here, so there.


                      Complete Trash from Network Trash.

                                   FOREWORD


You know some utter *bastard* wiped this file while I was working on it!!! This
was while ol' Cap Salamander was on,  so  it better not be you.... [It probably
wasn't, actually, but I didn't know that then.]
     This was the old "Book Help" file,  to  aid Warlock in his quest  to write
a story. (I ask you.) I was writing  a whole bloody chapter when it got fucked,
so  I'm pretty  angry...  (I'll  now  keep backups  of it just  to  be  on  the
safe side.)
     To resume.....

     My totally brilliant (albiet completely unoriginal) idea was for people to
write a load of crap, then let everyone else write their load  of crap carrying
on from your load of crap (assuming  you've  carried your load of crap from the
previous load of crap.) So whaddyathink? Load  of crap? No, I think it's bloody
brilliant! (Beams as if it was an original idea.)







                      =================================
                      COMPLETE TRASH FROM NETWORK TRASH
                      =================================


                                     By

                          Members of Network Trash.

              (Genie, Torg, Warlock, Revlis, Zog the Destroyer.)



                               DRAMATIS PERSON?


                      (Guffaw, guffaw, the very *idea*...)

                     In alphabetical order, incidently..

6025:               (Well,  ascii order then.) Mean,  lean,  green,  and  some
                    other thing,  anarchic and heroic law-breaking hacker  who
                    is not too bad at computers. (Well, obviously.)
Genie:              Mean, lean, green, anarchic and heroic law-breaking hacker
                    who  pioneered (no,  really) the original  sneaky  network
                    under the noses of Computing Science.
Ron Irvine:         A strange creature who says startlingly obvious things.
Mishka:             A    mean,    lean,    green,    anarchic    and    heroic
                    computer simulation of Muffys dog.
Niei:               The very cunning villian, who tries and stops every little
                    Mean,   lean,  green,  anarchic  and  heroic  law-breaking
                    hacking pleasure of the mean,  lean,  green,  anarchic and
                    heroic law-breaking hackers in this story.
Hotknife:           One of the most notorious mean,  lean, green, anarchic and
                    heroic  law-breaking  hackers  in the history  of  16  bit
                    computing.  Now he's a mean,  lean,  green,  anarchic  and
                    heroic  protection expert,  and he makes an  awful  lot of
                    money formatting other peoples disks.
Nun Fucker:         God (no pun intended),  what a stupid mean,  lean,  green,
                    anarchic and heroic law-breaking hacker name.
Pioufgh:            Almost certainly another mean,  lean,  green, anarchic and
                    heroic law-breaking hacker,  which unfortunately we  don't
                    know anything about (Even whether it's a he or she- I  kid
                    you not!)
Revlis:             A  mean,  lean,  green,  anarchic and heroic  law-breaking
                    hacker,  who changes his name an awful lot in this  story,
                    with predictably confusing and hilarious results.
Satan:              Mean,   lean,  green,  anarchic  and  heroic  law-breaking
                    hacker,  who, if this story is to be believed (????!?!?!),
                    shouts an awful lot.
Stringfellow:       Mean,   lean,  green,  anarchic  and  heroic  law-breaking
                    hacker, who is apparently a friend of Nun Fucker.
Torg:               Mean,   lean,  green,  anarchic  and  heroic  law-breaking
                    hacker,  who  founded  the original  Network  Trash.  (Cue
                    chorus of heavenly angels FX.)
Warlock:            The mean,  lean,  green,  anarchic and heroic law-breaking
                    hacker who is to blame for starting all this bullshit.
Raodhogg:           We don't know who he is, but he's definitely nothing to do
                    with ........
Roy Willow:         A  strange  creature who wears exactly  the  same  clothes
                    every day, except on holidays.
Alan Unturing:      A mean,  lean, green, anarchic and generally not-very-nice
                    computer.
Zog the Destroyer:  Mean, lean, green, anarchic and heroic law-breaking hacker
                    who is apparently into 'hectic mating sessions'.


                                 INTRODUCTION

                     (Cue Stravinsky 'Rites of Spring'.)

                     (Wow, wot a cultured bastard I am.)

And  thus  it came to pass that the gods of the Computing  Science  department
thought it would be a good idea if they updated their servers.  And lo,  while
they were at it, it came to pass that they granted each year their own server.
It was the year 1989AD.

The first and second years found they had been blessed with their own Drop box
server.  It was never used,  but the gods of the Computing Science had decided
in  their  infinite  wisdom  that  the mere  student  mortals  might  find  it
interesting.  From this point on,  nothing would ever be the same again in the
kingdom  of Lilybank gardens.  For lo,  the students did find it  interesting.
Very interesting.

One of those was Don the Cleaner.  You could write to it,  but not see it,  he
said.  Then came the turning point.  I wonder, he thought, what will happen if
you try and erase these folders.  And so he decided to test out his theory. He
dragged the four tutor folders to the wastebasket, and tried to empty it.

There was a brief pause, and lo, they had disappeared. Genie was frightened by
this  display  of power,  and created four new folders with the old  names  on
them.

And it came to pass that a week had gone by,  and nothing had happened to  the
folders,  and  no-one had said a word about anything.  Genie tried putting  an
application onto the server.  It copied across perfectly.  He also found  that
messages could be put across by creating folders,  and renaming them.  I think
there's a lot of potential in this, thought Genie. And at last, he did see the
light. 'The Genie Pool' was created.

A fortnight had come to pass,  and 'The Genie Pool' was the talk of the mortal
students of Computing Science. Games and utilities were being bartered through
it.  The first Server generation had been born: Genie, Don the Cleaner, Satan,
and Captain Salamander. But now there was a problem.

Genie  was worried that the stream of traffic on the server might wake up  the
sleeping  Gods of Lilybank Gardens.  He decided that 'The Genie Pool'  had  to
shut down for a short time.  And thus it came to pass that he advertised  Daft
Friday as the temporary shut-down date.

There  were  other problems with people deleting  everything,  but  Genie  had
learned the art of keeping a backup of the server structure.

However,  Don  the Cleaner was not satisfied.  It had been found out that  CS2
users had the keys to the gates of the Gods own drop-box server.  He opened it
up,  and it was a wonderous sight.  Every diety with a UNIX key had their  own
folder.  Even better,  cs2users had write priveledges.  The day was Stupid
Thursday.

And  it came to pass that at this very time,  Genie was getting preparing  the
server for the temporary shutdown.  As he did, he logged onto the dieties Drop
Box server out of curiosity. A strange new sight greeted his eyes. Someone had
started  renaming every folder.  The names 'John Major' and 'Starsky &  Hutch'
leapt  out at him.  Genie created a new folder,  and re-named  it  'Stop it!'.
Within a minute,  a folder responded 'No.'. Genie sent another marked 'Why are
you doing this?'.  Another minute passed, and the response came: 'It's OK, I'm
finished now!' And lo,  most of the Gods folders had disappeared.  And it came
to  pass  that  Genie thought it would be a good time to leave  the  Boyd  Orr
building.

The next day, 'The Genie Pool' had shut down, not by Genie's hand, but by that
of the Computing Science Gods,  who had erased the server, and write-protected
it.



Another year, and a new server generation.

Genie and Torg joined forces in conquering the Mac Classics in the kingdom  of
the  Reading  Room.  This  was  to prove very useful,  for  Torg  had  a  very
interesting thing to tell Genie.  It was the month of October in the year 1991
AD

Torg  had logged onto the Hawaii:  Committee Minutes server.  Loading  up  the
artifact  known  as 'Microsoft Word 4',  he noted a folder in the  holy  file-
selector that he hadn't noticed before- a secret folder called 'Network  Trash
Folder'. And lo, he could save into it. From this point on, nothing would ever
be the same again in the kingdom of Lilybank Gardens.

For  now there was a new and wiser server generation.  Once they  had  started
their crusade for a mortals network,  they could not be stopped.  And thus  it
came  to  pass  that Network Trash became a network in  it's  own  right,  not
dependent on any of the Gods of Lilybank Gardens.

And thus the server generation had come of age.

<Genie!>


* STAY TUNED NEXT WEEK FOR THE STORY PROPER! *


== I---- I\  I I---\ ======================================================
== I---  I \ I I   I ======================================================
== I____ I  \I I___/ ======================================================


If you have an ST system, we  recommend  you try the original ST binary version
of Pure Bollocks! You can obtain it from the following FTP sites:

        atari.archive.umich.edu    in the directory "atari/Magazines/Pb"
        ftp.uni-kl.de              in the directory "pub/atari/magazines"

You can also receive a copy by  sending  an International Reply Coupon plus the
relevant amount of disks (1 disk for PB #21, 2 each for PB #22 and PB #23) to

        PB Magazine,
        PO box 1083,
        Glasgow G14 9DG,
        Scotland,
        UK.


We have compiled ASCII only  versions  of  these,  and  archived them using ZIP
v2.0. Each of these fit onto a single  PC format disk. Please state if you want
this version.

Write to this address for contributions, etc. You can also email us at:

        an18359@anon.penet.fi

===========================================================================


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