
                           -------------------------

                           *  O  P  I  N  I  O  N  *

                           -------------------------


ALL THOSE WHO SLAG OFF OTHER  PEOPLE  IN  THE  SCENE  ARE A BUNCH OF LAME  CODE
RIPPERS WHO LOOK LIKE THEY CRAWLED OUT OF A RUBBISH HEAP!

Heh heh! I thought that title would make  you sit up and take notice! Yes, this
DOC is all about  all  this  slagging  that  goes  on  between rival groups and
coders. If it's well done, it can  extremely  funny  to read, and if it's for a
genuine reason, it can be very  effective.  It's also fuckin'  excellent if you
want fill up diskamgs and scrollers!  So  I  always  look  out for any good ol'
slagging going on, and.... well... most  of  it  is  a  heap of shit. Yes, most
people can't slag to save  themselves,  they  just trot out the usual bullshit.
Well, I've had enough of that. I can't stand  seeing tired old cliched slagging
off that obviously took people ages to work  out.... So if you  want to use old
cliches then, read on!



                       EGBSS' GUIDE TO CLICHED SLAGGING


Pick someone who's not too bad, but writes scrolltext that makes them look like
a complete  sadcase eg "Wait da man yo  yo there is where it's at boiz, running
tings..." or "We are  the  best   one  cracker  no  coder  one  swapper crew in
Slough.." If they've write loads of  crap  in their  scrollers, they'll respond
to slagging!


There are 3 main levels of slagging.

DEFCON1- Responding to what they say in scrolltexts or diskmags.

For scrolltexts,  real classic  to  start  with  is  "Why  didn't  you greet us
then?", which you  can always follow up with  "Are  you lot too good to be seen
greeting us?". The reason you say   this  rather  than "Are WE too good...." is
that the other lot  will  invariably  reply  something  like  "Yes, we've never
heard of you.." or even "yes, 'cause  you're  a  bunch of lamers", in which the
slagging has already switched to  DefCon  2!  You  can  do a similar thing with
diskmag articles,  like if a group talks  about their demo, then you can always
say "We haven't seen your demo  yet,  it's  not  very well spread!" In fact you
can really infuriate people by pointing out spelling or  grammar mistakes, that
really pisses them off!

DEFCON2 - Slagging off the code.

This is always a popular way to slag  people  off. You can start with "It looks
very nice but  I think the 8 precalculated  screens are a bit of a cheat", then
up the pressure a bit with a line  like "The 3D's a bit far off in the distance
isn't it?". If you get a  response  to  this  then you can  start the offensive
proper- starting using phrases like "lamer precalculated" and "crap 3D  routs".
Now you can do stuff like  pick  out  any  little shortcomings of a program (eg
"The sector  counter stays still! How lame! There's enough processor time for a
gigadistorter!" or "in the  other crack of Street Fighter 2 by *******, there's
a RAM disk!") and then  draw  similarities   between  their program and someone
elses, so that you can call them a  lame ripper next time  you slag them! Don't
dwell too much on technical details of someone's code- you could be  accused of
being a ripper yourself. Of course, be on the lookout for someone else doing it
though! (If you think this  is  a  bit  one-sided,  then don't worry- if you've
picked your target  correctly, then they'll be doing exactly the same things as
you!)

DEFCON3 - Slagging off the person.

You can carefully slip into DefCon 3,  by  calling your target something like a
"lame  wanker". Now you can slag off their  taste in music (eg "You only listen
to techno, because  your brain   would  explode  if  you listened to music that
made any intellectual demands."), their  clothes  ("Your  clothes are so out of
date that even Queen Victoria wouldn't dance with you.")  and their appearance.
("We hear there's an oilslick near your  area. Is this because you washed  your
hair? Wooah! Don't burst that  spot!  You'll  drown thousands!") And of course,
all slagging  wars eventually  get  to  the  point  of  people questioning each
others sex life  (eg  "You're  girl's  a   dog"),  and,  in  particular, sexual
orientation. (ie calling the other coder  a  "poof")  This  is about as  far as
remote slagging off can go, but you can  always go further. For example, I hear
of a well  known slagging war going to the point of actually phoning each other
and pouring torrents of abuse down the phone line!

                ----------------------------------------------

Putting all of this information we  have  together,  let's look an example of a
good slagging off!  DON'T let anyone take this seriously:

"... TALKING OF LAME FUCKS, HOW ABOUT ******  ? DID YOU SEE HIS SCROLLER IN THE
INTRO TO *****? WHAT A LAME  WANKER!  YOU  SAY  THAT EVERYONE GETS YOUR  DISKS-
WELL, THAT'S NO SURPRISE, BECAUSE  PEOPLE  WOULD  RATHER  HAVE YOUR  DISKS THAN
TALK TO YOU. SO I RECKON THE FACT THAT EVERYONE GETS YOUR  DISKS MEANS THAT YOU
ARE PRETTY UNPOPULAR, WHICH IS ABOUT JUST  RIGHT!    WHAT A LAME INTRO AS WELL.
JUST 8 LAMER PRECALCULATED PARALLAX  SCREENS, WITH A TWISTY SCROLLER ON IT. THE
ONLY GOOD BIT WAS THE  MODULE   AND  YOU  HAD  TO  RIP  THE CODE AND MODULE OFF
SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT! AND   DOESN'T  THAT  BACKGROUND  LOOK A BIT LIKE THE THE
******** DEMO? YOU RIPPED IT  OFF YOU DID!  AND IT TAKES MORE TIME IN YOUR DEMO
TO PRECALCULATE THAN IN  THEIR DEMO, SO YOU COULDN'T EVEN RIP IT OFF CORRECTLY!
IF THAT DOESN'T  MAKE YOU WANT TO  BE  SICK, LOOK AT THE FUCKIN' SCROLLER!  YOU
SAY THAT  YOU'RE GONNA GO THE ************* RAVE!!!  NO WONDER YOU'RE A FUCKWIT
IF YOU  LISTEN TO A LOAD OF COMPUTERS FARTING!    WELL, LIKE YOU SAY AT THE END
OF   YOUR SCROLLTEXT, YOU 'GOTTA  CRUISE'.  WELL,  WE  DON'T WANNA KNOW HOW YOU
GET YOUR BOYFRIENDS BUT IT DOES EXPLAIN  WHY  THAT  HOUND YOU CLAIM TO BE  YOUR
GIRLFRIEND LOOKS SO PISSED OFF......"


                     ------------------------------------
